And....We're Back!

Did I, or did I not, make a promise in the 2011 Love Celebration letter that this blog would be updated on a more frequent basis? Let me answer that for you...I did. Therefore, I am a big fat liar. Who knew raising a child while working full-time would be so challenging and time consuming...other than every mom in the entire universe?

BIG GIRL - Baby E is 21 months old. So I guess that would make her Toddler E, but I'm not on board with that nickname. It doesn't flow. We also call her E, Liza, EEEELiza, Ellliza, Baby Girl, Monkey, Miss E (or Missy), Lil E, etc. Mostly we call her everything except for her actual name, which might explain why she cannot tell us what her name is when asked. She can, however, tell us the names of her classmates without prompting; most recently we hear the name "Auby" (Aubrey) and "U-Waya" (Uriah)repeated over and over and over (and over).

GIRL TALK - Other than the names of two classmates I had no idea she was chummy with, Liza has opened up a can of Baby Talk all over the place. "Schorry" (sorry), book, bike, rock, ride, "Beebee" (baby), dog, shutup dog (ooops), shhhh dog, meow (her name for all of the cats), NO (her favorite), cuppy, shoes, uh-oh, and the list goes on. For real, at least two new words a day. It's all starting!

WORLD TRAVELER - We (mama and E) have recently returned from our 6th cross country trip. Thad and I took our first flights in our teens, and even then, it was like once for a very special occasion. E, on the other hand, has been on 22 airplanes (way too many connection flights) before she was 2. This last trip was, by far, the most difficult and painful. There are only so many hours in a day that a toddler can exercise patience. The flight from Denver to Minneapolis (1 hour and 45 minutes) is all she can manage (and that's a stretch). Needless to say, the 4 hour delay we experienced last week was unpleasant. I won't bore you with the technical details, but there were tears. Lots of tears. And mostly they were my tears. And I might start crying again while I reminisce, so I will stop. (But let me also tell you that there was poop, and it was gross...and it was Eliza, not me). I do not like the idea of buying a plane ticket for her in February, because honestly, she is tiny and I could fit three of her in that seat, but I will do it because that is the law. Good Lord, how do people have more than one child? And how am I not a raging alcoholic by now?

Let me leave you with an empty promise that I will update this blog. It's possible that I am speaking to no one, and that's okay, it's still therapeutic and for the love of all that is holy, it's milestone information for when I actually unwrap E's baby book and start filling in the details. (First word? If she's my child, it was probably something obscene).

And let me also leave you with this pseudo-senior-picture, taken in Gays Mills during Applefest last week:

She is a doll.

Video-A-Palooza

I have created a youtube playlist of the last 100 videos I have uploaded of Baby E. If you are so inclined, wander on over to youtube and take a look. Farewell...until I find the motivation to post again... Click Here for Baby E Overload

Photos ~ Photos ~ Photos

Eliza's Shutterfly is up-to-date. Check out her December and January photos!!

(Click Here): ELIZA!!

Overload (Mommy can't organize her thoughts)

Seriously, how do people do this? There are approximately one million things that need to get done and I would rather watch "House Bunny" on TBS, with commercials, than clean my bathroom or edit the thousands of photos I haven't been able to post to Shutterfly or clean the toxic litterboxes in the basement (those cats are organizing a strike as I write this). I have fooled myself into believing that a clean house is not priority (as if it were before Baby E made three). But when I sit on the living room rug to feed Eliza (because she no longer approves of her high chair), I can't help but notice all of the dog hair, cat hair, dirt, etc. that has made a permanent home in the worn down fibers of the 10 x 12 rug I was so fond of just 3.5 years ago. I tell myself (I PROMISE myself) that it's time for a new rug. But then the realist inside me says, "really, a new rug? why, so the dogs and cats and baby can shit all over that one too (figuratively, of course)? sure smart girl, spend your money on a new rug. awesome idea!". My inner voice is such a bitch.

So how, may I ask, do I work 40 hours a week, commute 6.5 hours a week, take care of my baby, clean my house, communicate with my husband, finish my thesis (that clock couldn't be ticking any louder), and start exercising to lose the 15 ridiculously stubborn pounds that attached themselves to my thighs during pregnancy and refuse to leave? I'm well aware that every mother in America has asked these same questions and that it works itself out eventually. I just haven't figured it all out yet and I'm a little stressed because Eliza is already 13 months old.

Holy Shit! Eliza is already 13 months old. What? Wasn't I just blogging about how fat and pregnant I was? 13 months old - walking/running - dancing up a storm at the slightest suggestion of a song - drinking out of a sippy cup - and calling every living creature "kee-kee" (which, obviously, is kitty). No clue how 13 months escaped me. Thankfully I take too many photos, because I cannot clearly recall the last 13 minutes let alone 13 months.

That little girl is a doll, and she knows it! Thad and I love her to pieces. All of her grandparents and extended family love her to pieces. The day care teachers love her to pieces. People who have never met her love her to pieces. We are talking spoiled bloody rotten with love. She deserves every last bit of it, for sure. I wish every child knew what it felt like to be Baby E!

Okay, my thoughts are jumbled and "House Bunny" is starting to get good (I just heard the line "eyes are the nipples of the face"). I'm going to finish the beer I started drinking over an hour ago and possibly make a list of tasks that I will surely complete this weekend. In actuality, I will exchange the jeans I'm wearing for some PJ pants...brush my teeth (I can always wash my face tomorrow)...grab the book I've been trying to finish for over a month...and fall fast asleep with said book unopened on the nightstand. Peace out.

(Below is a photo of E. I wish she knew how to use that vacuum cleaner in the background...)

Stay Tuned....

....because 2012 is going to be an amazing year!!

She's Here!! (Part One: Labor and Delivery)

Well, technically, she's been here for over five weeks...but who's counting?

Baby Helgerahn (aka Eliza Caroline Helgerson-Rahn) was FINALLY born after what seemed like 12 years of pregnancy. I'm not going to lie, being pregnant was awful (and I say this after having a very normal, healthy pregnancy). I was not prepared for how HUGE I would get (see below) and I was definitely not prepared for childbirth (despite the abundant amount of books I read and moms I interviewed). Check out mega-Kate:



Eliza was not interested in providing us with a very needed 2010 tax break. I'm not sure she realizes how freaking expensive her daycare is going to be. Perhaps if she knew, she would have made more of an effort to be born. Unfortunately, she appears to have inherited my stellar procrastination skills. During my late December prenatal appointment, the nurse practitioner offered an induction date of 1/1/11 (one week after the 12/25/10 due date). Had I known what an induction entailed, I might have waited to see if Eliza would arrive on her own. Live and Learn!

Here is a quick and dirty description of my induction: show up, lay in a hospital bed, get all kinds of crap hooked up onto (and inside of) your body, no ability to get out of bed, waking up every 15 minutes thanks to the blood pressure cuff, 20 hours of contractions that resulted in only 6.5cm of dilation (yes...I opted for the epidural after 2 hours of pitocin-induced INTENSE contractions that happened every 1 to 3 minutes), then ultimately a C-Section. To protect the reader, I'm not going to comment on the barfing, the starving, the crying, the bitching, the catheter, and the body parts and body fluids that my mom and Thad got to witness. Believe me...it's for your own good. Below is a photo that captures the above experience (it was taken about 14 hours into the whole ordeal):



Guess how puffy and swollen you get after 20 hours of IV fluid intake? Words can't describe it...that's how puffy you get. Okay...so my pregnancy, labor, and delivery experience really sucked...that has probably become very apparent by now. As I anticipated, however, the whole experience was surely worth it. Little lady Eliza Caroline was born with 10 fingers and 10 toes and an overall bill of good health. Thad got to see her and hold her first, which was to be expected with a C-Section delivery. He was initially concerned about her purple skin tone, but his worries subsided after a few minutes when her purple skin turned a sweet shade of pink.





The hospital stay was uneventful, but we were BEYOND happy to be discharged and I was beyond happy to take a shower (because seriously, could the bathrooms in a hospital be any more ridiculous?). We are forever grateful to Grandma T and Grandpa Aaron for house-sitting and pet-sitting while we were in the hospital. Kona and Buster are especially grateful and were super-depressed when they went back to Wisconsin.

For more photos of beautiful Eliza, check out her Shutterfly page:
ELIZA!!
This page will be updated about every two weeks with new and exciting photos!!

Uff Da!

So, today when I told my OB Nurse Practitioner that I wished pregnancy only lasted 8 months instead of 9, she explained that technically, pregnancy lasts 10 months. Don't I know it! I feel like I've been pregnant for 7 years. The last month is by far the worst...I don't care who you are. And to all of those women who talk about how fabulous pregnancy was and how it was the best they ever felt...I think you are all a bunch of dirty liars (Grandma T!). My back hurts, my feet are swollen beyond recognition (thank goodness for a mild Denver winter which allows me to keep wearing my flip flops), and now I have carpal tunnel in both hands. Carpal tunnel is all fun and games until you unwittingly drop your hairdryer on your foot because you can't gauge how tight you're grasping it. I know I know...the real pain has yet to begin and once it's over I'll forget all about it. We'll see about that!

The 36 week appointment was a success! The quick ultrasound confirmed what I already knew: Baby Girl Helgerahn's head is banging relentlessly on my pelvis. She is head first and ready to go. I got a quick peek at her heart and saw four little chambers beating like crazy. The NP said baby girl looks "perfect" (Thad already knocked on wood after hearing that...but if you feel the need to knock on wood as well...please do so!). Check out the little lady's fingernails...she's going to need a mani as soon as she is born:



Based on all of the measurements and lack of contractions, we're on schedule for a late December birth. That isn't going to stop us from wishing and hoping for an earlier delivery. Thad is already scoping out the speed bumps in the neighborhood for us to drive over and I'm looking for good deals on castor oil and hot sauce. It's all good...we're considered "full term" on December 4th!

I had my final baby shower at work on November 30th. It was fantastic! Baked Potato bar and chili potluck...YUM! My co-workers were far too generous. The baby's room is pretty well stocked at this point. Just need a few odds and ends...but if she was born today, we would be A-OK (hint hint little one)! I wanted to share photos of the nursery, but it's a little chaotic right now. We're waiting on the crib delivery, I have yet to finish up the decor, and I need to do some last minute laundry (see below):



I had washed, folded, and put away all of the little girl's towels and washcloths not realizing that I had created the perfect kitty-cave. Oh Dieter Kitty...we're going to have to keep a close eye on you!!

We've got some big, exciting changes on the horizon! Thanks to Thad's work bonus...we are going to upgrade the electric in our house! When we bought this house, we knew it did not meet the electric code. We were not concerned because the defect allowed us to negotiate a lower sale price and Thad's brother is an electrician....so we knew we would be able to upgrade the electric eventually. I don't know all of specifics about how much electrical power we need versus how much we actually have; but what I do know is that we can't run the clothes dryer and the microwave at the same time...we can't run the bathroom fan, the iron, and my hair dryer at the same time...we can't vacuum and use the oven at the same time...etc. December 13th is the big day! In true family camaraderie, Thad's brother is going to do the upgrade for cost (with Thad working as the labor). I'm over the moon with joy! I will be able to run a space heater when needed...we are going to inherit a deep freeze from some friends to put in the garage...and best of all...there is talk of an automatic garage door opener in my future!!! Could this be the best Christmas ever?? It definitely has potential!

And the moment you've all been waiting for...my 36 week belly shot. I'm not what you would call a "smiler", but rest assured, I am not unhappy...just very very enormous and very very uncomfortable:



And finally, here is a message I sent to Baby Girl Helgerahn during a moment of procrastination:



Hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving! Now bring on Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa!!